what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
