He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
