I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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