i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
