Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
