white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
