They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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