I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize