ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Bring me that man meat
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
