bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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