Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
