sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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