You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
