I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
