That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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