I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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