I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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