You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize