Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I smell like Dick and happiness
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
