Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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