I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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