Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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