Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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