Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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