She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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