Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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