it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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