All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize