You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
