Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize