i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
