She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
