he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
