I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
a search helicopter?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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