butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
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Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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