Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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