THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
