bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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