but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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