How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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