I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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