I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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