If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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