new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
