Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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