guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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