the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize