So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
