I wanna bring you to show and tell
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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