Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
