@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
