We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
