dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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