3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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