wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
