what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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