someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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