i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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