my mouth tastes like poor choices
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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