I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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