The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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