the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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