yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
