she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
