Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
