she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
