Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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