looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They have beer where we have blood.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
