Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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